There’s nothing wrong
in opting to lead life as a householder, says ANANDMURTI GURUMAA
Sexual desire
emanating from kamavasana previous impressions in the mind, is energy and as is
true for all energies, one can harness it beneficially or abuse it. Men and
women who are desirous of fulfilling their sexual desires get married to have
firsthand experience of sex. But the question arises: Do couples who have had a
sexual relationship for 40-50 years, ever get the feeling that they have had
enough of it, and do they rise above the need for sexual gratification?
They don’t. This is
because for them sex is nothing but a medium of getting a release…. Now, if one
perpetually indulges in this irresponsibly, without using one’s wisdom, then
all that will happen is depletion of energy. Whenever certain hormonal changes
occur in the body, they naturally lead to arising of sexual urges on either
seeing or imagining an attractive man or woman. And whenever someone is
sexually aroused, such a person will either suffer in trying to control it or
will seek release.
If you keep getting
sexually aroused, it reflects that for several, previous lifetimes, you have
lived in excessive sexual indulgence, and all that has left such a deep
impression on your mind that none of the words of wisdom have any effect on
you. Thus you are unable to have any temperance on your urges. So, you need to
honestly look at yourself and contemplate on this.
An easy solution for
such individuals is to lead a householder’s life… otherwise, it will be akin to
punishment because by trying to suppress the urges, they are not going to
disappear, rather they will emerge in new and strange ways. So, if you want to
lead a householder’s life with awareness and prudence, then know that sex can
be used in three ways: for pleasure, procreation, and for spiritual evolution
according to the path of tantra. But to use it for spiritual evolution, as per
the tantra tradition, is possible only when you have an equally understanding
and virtuous spouse, and not otherwise.
Practice of tantra is
not a medium for satiating the desires of a lustful person! It is only for
those who have successfully mastered the four limbs of yoga — yama, niyama,
asana and pranayama — and in addition, strictly adhere to the other limbs of
yoga.
When one
conscientiously follows yama, niyama and then masters yogasanas, the glands
begin to function optimally and the body gets purified. And when such an
individual with a purified body does pranayama, his self-belief and mental
strength increases. If such a person with increased self-belief and mental
strength leads a married life with an equally sensible and understanding
partner, then even sex becomes a spiritual practice….
Animals are more
sensible, as their sexual behaviour is as per the law of nature. When their
mating period is over, they live like celibates. But the human mind is not tied
down to nature’s law. A man can think about sex or take part in it whenever he
wants. But the point to note is that if there is freedom, there is bondage too.
Use your wisdom to understand your sexual energy. Ask yourself: the momentary
pleasure obtained through sexual gratification, will it be binding or will it
help in my liberation? Question your mind using your discriminative wisdom, for
sex is nothing more than a momentary pleasure.
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